Honesty is Sexy!

I recently had a conversation with a person who I would say is a new friend...u see we met because of my cousin Camille...they used to date...and when she passed away he was one of the first people I knew I needed to find to tell, so he wouldn't hear it from someone else...anyway since her passing we keep in touch through text and myspace messaging...all of this to say i sent him a msg this weekend and he was going thru some things...relationship things...BLAH...why are things so difficult...i've always had this strong feeling that if a relationship is right then it shouldn't be HARD...and when i say that i don't mean you don't have to work at it...but it's like digging a hole...if both of you are digging at the same pace...working just as hard...the process is still trying and difficult but you achieve it together and reach the end together...where as if you have only one person working really hard and the other barely moving dirt...then hell yea it's gonna be hard! I feel like relationships work the same way...maybe i'm completely wrong and living in a fantasy but i know i don't wanna work 110% give everything i have and more to something or someone and they are only operating at 50%...thats crap!

During our conversation he talked about stresses in his most recent relationship...and one of those being lies...little lies...big lies...silly lies....but lies nonetheless....and i came to a revelation...if people truly new how much easier it makes things to be honest...they would freak!! I mean really if you tell your current mate the truth...the whole dirty ugly truth....what then do they have to be worried about...if you are upfront and give them all the facts no matter how bad...they can't question...they can't suspect...they can't worry....why because it's all there for them...the good the bad and the ugly truth...I recently met a man...'the boy' as i refer to him...and can i just say that from evening #2 of hanging out...he said 'well, before you start to really like me there are things you should know..." and he proceeded to tell me every ugly truth he had... at first i was overwhelmed and shocked and then realized...wow! this is what its like to have all the facts upfront and now I get to make the decision on whether or not we continue hanging out...I get to choose...with all that i know that he has going on...i get to make the choice before i ever know if i really like him...i make the choice to stick around...it was liberating...shockingly comfortable... and truthfully his honesty was so sexy! It made me want to hang out with him more...made me want to get to know him...i didn't have to wonder about ex's...he told me about those...i didn't have to worry about family...he warned me about them...i didn't have to ask his plans for the future...he has a 5 year plan...i didn't even have to ask him what he wanted from me...he told me upfront and said if that's not what you want someday let me know now...WOW!!!

so for my new friend...i say trust yourself...and actions ALWAYS speak louder than words and if given another chance i hope she shows you honesty...cause you my friend deserve it!